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Bad Sex

15 Oct

Credit: dating/love tip 3800/3829 bad-sex-1051906-flash-1051906-flash.jpg
Not tonight, love.When you first hooked up, one look from the missus was allit took in your engine to rev up quicker than a pimped-out ride from The quick and theFurious. You were, to place it bluntly, like a dog in heat, but those first throes ofpassion are long gone, and your girlfriend has since lost her almost God-given power tomake you cheerful between the sheets.She will have seduced you together with her looks andcharm, but when you’re coping with bad sex monthsafter that first night of intimacy, then she might to boot appear to be Whoopi Goldberg. Notthat you could tell her that. Unless you possess a heart of stone like SimonCowell, you’d feel pretty bad watching your girlfriend suffer a BridgetJones-style breakdown after telling her she’s failing miserably within the bedroom.But make enough excuses to bypass an in depth encounter or drop enough hints about whatshe must be doing, and your girlfriend will eventually catch on. Here’s what to doto if bad sex is ruining your relationship.

Rule Number one:. Fake an illness

Because the dawn of time, women have used phony ailments corresponding to headaches and upsetstomachs to get out of getting sex. But two can play at that game. If the celebrities havealigned and the moon is within the right place, she may well be feeling amorous and up for anight of passion. You, alternatively, would rather sleep, watch sports or do almostanything in place of enduring another night of passionless sex. It’s not you;it’s her.Yawning at least one time every little while should do the trick. Ifthat isn’t enough to push back her advances, then make regular trips to the toiletand proceed to groan loudly enough on your girlfriend to listen to. She’ll soon becolder than a streaker in the middle of a Canadian winter.

Rule No. 2: Be cunning

We’ve already established that you simply can’t just tell the missus how bad she isin the sack. But a bit scheming can go far. Ask her if there’s anything inparticular she’d such as you to do when getting intimate. Not just does it make yourgirlfriend feel special, however it also will provide you with an excuse to inform her exactlywhat you need. Women like to talk, so use this on your advantage.Read on forways to let her know she’s bad at sex… Continue Reading


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Posted by on October 15, 2011 in Magazine

 

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