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Are You Too Intimidating?

16 Sep

Credit: dating/doclove 700/734 doc-love-1048181-flash-1048181-flash.jpg
Are you too intimidating? This week, Doc Love, author of “TheSystem,” helps a reader decide make his next move.

reader’s question

Hey Doc,I purchased “The System,” read it and not looked back.I know from experience that you simply don’t actually need to understand much concerning the guys whowrite in, but maybe that is relevant: I’m a model, a last year law student andpretty independent, which quite a lot of women find intimidating.In the past, I MIGHT try to show them that I USED TO BE only a normal guy, but after readingyour book, I realised that a little intimidation isn’t this sort of bad thing. I learned alot out of your methods, mainly to not rush in and to take my time.My questionrelates to Laura, who I met after we were both teenagers. We used to make out back then,but I didn’t consider it to be anything serious. I stumbled on her online profile awhile back, and let’s say she had indeed blossomed. As opposed to beingsuperaggressive, I took my time and very tried to read her Interest Level throughemails. But Doc, she didn’t bite.We exchanged flirtatious banter butdidn’t meet. I got bored with the cat and mouse game, so I emailed her and called herout on everything I wasn’t happy about. I said that her inconsistency made me awareof how uninterested she was. I also included within the email that it might probably be thelast time she heard from me! Surprise, surprise! Five minutes later she called,but I stood my ground and didn’t answer my phone, so she sent an email telling methat because she fell in love with me a decade ago, she didn’t need to get her heartbroken again. She also claimed that she was completely unaware that I felt the way in which I did,and once we started chatting again, she had butterflies but really didn’t think shestood a chance!I really do like Laura. She’s that old-fashioned gal whohas good values and is a keeper. But I’m wary that what she’s saying isWomanese for something else. Finally I replied to her message but didn’t spill myguts. I did mention that because girls are always chasing me, I don’t really knowhow to pursue a woman I’m eager about. We’ve been in touch ever since, butI really don’t understand how to proceed. Do I AM GOING in strong and ask her out? Do I’M GOING inslowly? Or do I kick back and do nothing?Derrick – who doesn’tfeel too smart at the moment

doc love’s response

Hi Derrick,The excellent news is that you’re good-looking and also you havebrains. The bad news is that having attractiveness and brains doesn’t let you keepa woman in love with you. You might have “The System,” that is all about keeping awoman in love with you — so that you must be in your way. But remember, being good-lookingonly signifies that you’re going to get more dates.If you don’t know what you’re doing, if you start talking and interactingwith a babe, those beauty of yours won’t mean a thing.You say youused to take a look at to turn women that you’re only a “normal” guy. Nowyou’re flaunting your looks and brains. But why are you looking to show themanything? Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “There are plenty ofhandsome, smart guys who visit law school.” It feels like you’re just pumpingyour own ego here, Derrick. And again, none of that stuff means anything unless you reallyknow find out how to maintain women. You’re correct that a little intimidation isn’t a badthing. But you’re blowing your horn about stuff that doesn’t intimidate;that’s the problem.Find out what else Doc Love has to mention to Derrickafter the jump… Continue Reading


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Posted by on September 16, 2011 in Dating

 

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